Mom, a Monkey and a Flagpole

Posted on by Jeff Raught

Disclaimer: The following true story contains the word “ass” and “asshole”. I’m not using them to offend anyone, but to simply tell the story accurately and include the language as it was spoken. If you are put out by this, then I’d suggest not going any further.

For those of you unfamiliar with my story. Both my Mom and Dad encountered memory loss, dementia and Alzheimer’s to varying degrees in their later years. Dad passed in 2012, but Mom is still as delightful as ever, with or without her short term memory. In the midst of all of that, here’s another story with Mom.

    Mom, a Monkey and a Flagpole

– August, 2017

I was at my part time job the other day. Where I spend some of my time when I am not on the road performing. It helps to pay the bills. The business services crane and lifting equipment so there are many parts and fittings that are related to hydraulics. One such part was on the returns desk. It was a curved piece of steel pipe that resembled the slide of a trombone. One of the owners was back there and picked it up pretending to play. I recognized the song immediately as the National Emblem March, composed by E.E. Bagley. Although,to be truthful my first thought was the lyrics that my Mom and Dad used to sing to that tune. “And the monkey wrapped his ass around the flagpole.” I knew there was more, but I only ever remember the opening line. My first thought was to text my sister and see if she remembered. But I reconsidered and decided to call Mom directly. I put the call on speakerphone and forged ahead.

Hi Mom, do you remember the song…”And the monkey wrapped his ass around the flagpole…”

and before I got the work monkey out she was singing along. As I mentioned, I had no idea what the second line of the song was, nor was I prepared for my eighty seven year old mother to be singing so loud and strong. “…to see his asshole.”

She then paused. I think that’s right isn’t it? I mean it makes sense right? If he had his ass wrapped around a flagpole he could see his ass hole couldn’t he?

I could hardly contain my laughter and answered that yes Mom, that seems correct.

Mom then responded, let’s sing it again. And so my eighty seven year old Mom and her fifty seven year old son sang the monkey’s ass around the flagpole with great gusto, laughing wonderfully the entire time.

Give my love to your wife and kids. So long honey……click.

No matter how much her memory fades about certain things, it’s really quite delightful to be able to call my Mom and sing a song about a monkey’s asshole and belly laugh like there’s no tomorrow. For someday will indeed come.

You can look up the entire lyrics if you want to. Personally I don’t care about the rest of the song. These two lines are more than enough to smile about.

Don’t forget to laugh with someone today and remember to thank a monkey.

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