I called Mom about a week ago. The call lasted thirty nine seconds. Yes you read that correctly :39
Jeff: Hi Mom,
Marie: My son, my son, What’s doin?
Jeff: I’m at work, just took a break to call you. What are you doing?
Marie: Well I’m here at Bethany Village. Just watching some TV.
Jeff: What are you watching?
Marie: Oh, uh, I don’t know. There’s a lady and she has a cat. Um, I don’t know what the hell is going on with either one of them. (She chuckles at herself) Okay Bye. …… Click
Jeff: “Goodbye Mom”(to the sound of a dial tone.)
~ I called her again yesterday on Mother’s Day. The call was even shorter than a week ago.
Jeff: Hi Mom, Happy Mother’s Day
Marie: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Where are you?
Jeff: I’m here in Lancaster.
Marie: Good, good, good.
Jeff: I sent you some flowers. I wanted to make sure…..
Marie:Thank you, Bye bye.
That was it. Our conversation was over. A total of twenty two seconds and it had ended. That’s how the
conversations go. They are incredibly brief and nothing is talked about. Nothing at all. She is completely living in the
moment. The one right in front of her. There’s no rewind or fast forward. It’s now. Mom simply does not have capacity
for anything more. Each time we visit or have a phone call. I expect not a thing in return. I will hold the things she
cannot remember for when or if she needs them. But I don’t think she ever will again. That’s okay. I have learned that
these days I have to give her a smaller cup. One that she can handle. Mom can no longer take a long drink from the
fullness of life. Her everyday memory is fleeting, at best. Yet that does not take anything away from this experience
over the last few years. Maybe the calls will get even shorter, until time runs out. Whenever that is, I have found this to
be quite a beautiful journey and I wouldn’t change a thing. For I think she has what she needs for one moment at a
time. And that is enough.
© Jeff Raught ~ 2022